No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
