i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
