ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
