since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
