It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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