Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
