is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
