PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
