sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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