I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
