Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
