I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He better not be in your backpack
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
