I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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