Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
