Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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