I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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