he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize