we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize