Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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