I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
