guess who came home with a hottie last night
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
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Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
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dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I stole an accordion from the bar
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?