We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer