We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
This is sufficient.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
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You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
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tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.