Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
