he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
