Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
