You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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