when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
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I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
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I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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