dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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