so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
