best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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