Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
