I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
