Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
