I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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