i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
