Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
