OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
