I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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