Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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