..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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