I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You made out with two different species that night
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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