What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Sober January is a disaster.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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