no. you can't hotbox the world.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
