Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
