I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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