I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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