Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
