so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
