i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
