So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
