Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
