I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
