Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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