Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
one two three fourrrrnication!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
