Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
