you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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