Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
