wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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