I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
